A Crash Course in Competitions
Documentaries about acrobatic pizza dough tossing and more!
Mischievous.
That was the word that knocked me out of my childhood attempt at the spelling bee.
If you want a kid to learn how to spell one particular word for the rest of their life, man — make it the one they spelled wrong on a stage in front of everyone. Now I’ll never forget!
Personal trauma aside, I have to admit that competitions provide a reliably entertaining framework for any film or a story. (You’ve got your structure and time constraints built right in!) Plus, watching a competition doc means you get to spend time with people who just really like stuff. Which is actually the secret to happiness, per this viral tweet:
Take a page out of Lauren’s book! What if YOU are the next champion acrobatic pizza dough tosser? Please remember me when you’re famous. I may never be a Scrabble champ myself but I’ve been having the time of my life playing it since watching Word Wars!
Before I dive into some documentary recs, this is probably a good place for me to plug Tubi, a FREE streaming service that does not even require you to make an account in order to view their stuff. In addition to the usual fare you’ll see on other streamers, Tubi also seems to host 95% of all documentaries, direct-to-video sequels, and a lot of monster content. (Fellow Nessie and Godzilla fans, you’re in luck.) Many of the docs listed below are currently available on Tubi, and all of them are worth a watch. (Obligatory note that I’m not Tubi-affiliated, btw — just a grateful fan in the midst of our current “streamflation” moment!)
Brooklyn Castle
Legends tell of a New York City junior high school that houses a chess team so good, Einstein would only rank FIFTH in their company! Katie Dellamaggiore’s Brooklyn Castle follows these kids as they compete in various tournaments, although the real battle happens off the chessboard thanks to budget cuts. (BOOO!) I.S. 318’s fifty-eight-time national champion chess team revolutionized the school’s reputation, but in a school where 70% of the student body lives below the poverty line, what might these cuts mean for the future of the program? (Yet another film to remind you that teachers deserve the world!)
Conduct! Every Move Counts
If Cate Blanchett’s turn in TÁR made you curious about conducting, you’re in the right place! Götz Schauder’s Conduct! Every Move Counts takes a closer look at the Sir Georg Solti International Conductors Competition and tries to clear up some of the vocation’s mysteries in the process. In competitions revolving around games like chess, winning is more straightforward (e.g. “Checkmate!”). But for a more subjective matter like conducting, it’s interesting to hear the judges discuss what they value in a contender. Winners are chosen not just for their performance in the moment, but also for what the jury imagines their future might hold. (I wonder how they’d feel about my favorite conductor, who also happens to be a T-rex.)
Ecstasy of Order: The Tetris Masters
When a winner from the 1990 Nintendo World Championships returns to compete in the first-ever Classic Tetris World Championship, who will emerge the victor?! Adam Cornelius’ Ecstasy of Order is a very satisfying doc if you enjoy watching tetrominoes (yes, that’s what they’re called!) slot into place, and also features an enlightening mix of history and strategy for the game itself. But at least one of these competitors literally dreams about Tetris, which I think might be a sign that you maybe can have too much of a good thing.
Figures of Speech
This took me right back to high school! Going into Ari Levinson’s Figures of Speech, I knew very little about the world of speech duos or “competitive acting,” described in the doc as theater geek meets varsity athlete. The general idea behind the competition is that each pair picks a passage from a published work to act out together in ten minutes — but no props or eye contact. Also, some of the duo members *might* have feelings for each other. Bonus: narrated by Chris Pine!
First Position
In Bess Kargman’s ballet documentary First Position, the competitors range from 9 to 19 years old and it is UNREAL what they’re able to do en pointe. Especially satisfying to search all the names at the end to see where they ended up. Pair it with Black Swan and get ready for some flexibility jumpscares!
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
OH MY GOD. I cannot believe this documentary about two arcade gaming rivals has not been adapted as a comedy yet. Seth Gordon’s The King of Kong is an absolutely surreal ride through the niche world of competitive Donkey Kong arcade gaming that pits twenty-year champ Billy Mitchell against earnest newcomer Steve Wiebe — and with an entire cast of hilarious and heartwarming background characters to boot. I honestly believe every single person in this film deserves their own spin-off documentary. I LOVE IT. If you need any further encouragement, Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office) is on record saying it’s one of her all-time favorite movies:
“If you do not know [The King of Kong], you need to watch it immediately.”
—Jenna Fischer, known for being very funny on television
“It’s so flippin’ good.”
—Angela Kinsey, likewise
Pianoforte & They Came to Play
Music is another category where it seems so difficult to pick a single winner! Jakub Piątek’s Pianoforte depicts the International Chopin Piano Competition, held exclusively for young pianists just once every five years in Poland. This one’s INTENSE, as these kids have made piano their whole lives and the pressure is high! There may or may not be a joke about using the award money to pay for therapy. Makes for a great double feature with Alex Rotaru’s They Came to Play, which portrays the International Piano Competition for Outstanding Amateurs with competitors ranging anywhere from 35 to 80 years old. I loved listening to the contenders in this one talk about how piano complements their various occupations — whether they’re doctors, flight attendants, or engineers, they’re all united by their love of the same instrument.
Pizza! The Movie
Why didn’t anybody tell me competitive acrobatic pizza dough tossing is a thing?! As if it wasn’t enough to watch a documentary about the activity itself — a kind of wondrous cross between dancing and food prep featuring the occasional outfit change — it turns out the pizza scene is RIFE with conspiracy and betrayal. They do not mess around at the World Pizza Championship, y’all. Prepare to discover MANY opinions about pizza you didn’t even know you had in Michael Dorian’s Pizza! The Movie. (And yes, the above pizza sequence is Matrix-themed — what better homage could the Wachowski sisters ask for?)
Pumping Iron
Check out what Arnold Schwarzenegger was up to before his Terminator days! George Butler and Robert Fiore’s 1977 Pumping Iron is a doc that had significant real-world impact, as it arguably took bodybuilding mainstream. Gotta say, it’s simultaneously fascinating and frightening to see the human body pushed to its limits in these ways. Bonus: while reading up on the film’s legacy, I was excited to see there are even a couple sequels — I’m looking forward to tracking down Pumping Iron II: The Women!
The Speed Cubers
Oh, so you opened up this list in the hopes of finding a documentary about kids who solve Rubik’s cubes really quickly that is ALSO a meditation on friendship AND underscores the idea that everybody just needs to find that one thing they’re really good at in order to feel like they belong? You’re in luck! Ready your tear ducts for Sue Kim’s profoundly wholesome The Speed Cubers. The two subjects of this doc are truly rivals second, friends first :’)
Spellbound
Obviously given my own history I had to include Spellbound, Jeffrey Blitz’s portrait of the 1999 Scripps National Spelling Bee! This doc was actually nominated for the Best Documentary Feature Oscar back in 2003, and it’s such a fun watch — though humbling to realize that these children know more words than me, lol. Fun fact: Scripps has been running the Bee since 1925, so next year’s their hundredth anniversary (and you can watch it live!).
Visions of Eight
I am not interested in sports, but I am interested in obsessions.
—Mai Zetterling
Visions of Eight is not a single narrative so much as eight short films packaged together, each showcasing a separate facet of the 1972 Olympic Games through a different filmmaker’s perspective. Subjects range from weightlifting and pole vaulting to marathon running and losing, and it’s a great time capsule of cinematography with some really interesting editing to boot. I think my favorite part was watching someone run in really slow motion. Fun way to gear up for this summer’s Paris Olympics — I snagged the lovely Criterion edition from my local library!
Wicker Kittens
Amy C. Elliott’s Wicker Kittens is a delightful little doc about America’s largest jigsaw puzzle contest and the people who participate. Featuring Girl Scout enforcers and people who climb on tables, these folks do not mess around. (I stumbled across the above clip while dipping a toe into the puzzling community after watching the doc. I learned that there are people out there who put SINGLE-COLOR puzzles FOR FUN. Personally I would rather watch this very satisfying four-minute timelapse, lol.)
Wizard Mode
Nathan Drillot and Jeff Petry’s Wizard Mode marries two of my favorite documentary styles: competition + creating a portrait of one very interesting person. While learning the ins and outs of pinball tournaments, we also get to spend some time with one of the world’s best players: Robert Gagno. (If you’re ever in Seattle, highly recommend checking out the Pinball Museum, pictured above, where the exhibits are, yes, also playable!)
Word Wars
I thought I was decent at Scrabble, but the players profiled in Eric Chaikin and Julian Petrillo’s Word Wars display a devotion to the game that borders on religious. (I’m still a little worried about the guy who reviews his words while driving.) If you like this one, you might also check out the Twitch streamer axcertypo/Josh Sokol, who won the 2023 Scrabble Player Championship. Among other things, he livestreams his tournament games. It’s very satisfying to watch someone play the word “cartwheel” in real time — especially if they’re not your opponent.
Okay y’all, did I miss your favorite? Other competition docs I should watch? Let me know!
In publication news, I recently interviewed the writer Richard Scott Larson about his new coming-of-age memoir, The Long Hallway, which looks back on his adolescence through the lens of a lifelong obsession with John Carpenter’s Halloween. Had a blast talking to him about his inspirations, horror as comfort, and the legacy of Michael Myers!
A bit of extra fun news this month: I made the longlist for the Wigleaf Top 50! A total honor to join so many other writers I admire with “The Boy in the TV,” a little story I wrote about being just a bit too attached to a fictional character.
Have fun! See y’all again in a month.
Lots and lots of great competitions abound, too many to track I think. My contribution is more about fun-loving, canines who are in fact, the greatest frisbee catchers in the world. Check out "Fly High: Story of the Disc Dog". You will be amazed.
The King of Kong is great! It'd make a great double feature with Relaxer, which is not a doc (and is also quite weird), but Billy Mitchell was actually cast in it originally before the director decided it'd be too much of a stunt.